(no subject)

[iambetadraconis]

You'd think by now he knew how things worked at the Bar at the End of the Universe to recognise its weird whenever it sprung up...

He didn't talk to the drunken man; only passed him by.

Innocent, for a beginning.

And an hour after that, he'd forgotten even that much.

But when he saw that oh-so-simple-looking cube, with all those colours...

He spent a good three hours twisting the damn thing this way and that, trying to figure it out and getting steadily more annoyed with it, before giving it up as a lost cause and deciding to hand it over to someone else instead, so that they could share the frustration.

It ended up in his pocket. Presumably for later.

With that little matter settled, he went about looking for something else to do.

That's when he made another discovery.

Contrary to popular opinion, rocks are not dull. They're interesting. Unique. Fascinating.

And the bloody things have their own personality, that you'd only discover once you've gotten and spent time with two or three of them.

Five or six.

Ten or twenty.

And now here, at his home in Lunar, one of the rooms has been transformed into a ... kennel? Stable? Rockery? full of rocks and stones of all sizes and kinds, much to Elea's amusement.

Or is it annoyance?

Well, while her beau spends time dusting his granite companions, she's sitting downstairs waiting for someone just a little more inclined to talk about far more normal things than whether basalt is given towards playfulness, or if flint rocks are happiest in groups.

She examines the kettle that's steadily heating up.

He should be here any minute now...

Comments

[herr_bookman]

"Lilac, White: Majesty, Purity, Innocence." Hmm.

"Is there anything I can do to help out with that?" Autor murmurs quietly. He doesn't quite know why he's offering.

He does, however, manage to tear his eyes away from his pages just long enough to check on Rabastan, who has been uncharacteristically quiet. Well. Autor knows how to fix that. He pokes the wizard with his book.

[iambetadraconis]

Predictably, there is swatting. And complaints. And admonishments as they enter the kitchen.

"If you wish. I need someone to slice the rolls partway, then..."

She goes about looking through the ice box for something.

A leafy vegetable, plus a spread, meat and cheese as well as smaller, choppable vegetables are handed in succession.

"See what you can make with those, plus the rolls.

"And no poking my boyfriend, either."

[herr_bookman]

And dodging, and grinning. He could get used to this, though he probably shouldn't. "He can defend himself, I think," Autor says confidently, setting his book aside to take up a knife.

Surprisingly, he's fairly competent in a kitchen, so they have three decently assembled sandwiches and chopped vegetables in short order.

[iambetadraconis]

Taking her own, she resumes preparing the rest of their lunch while Rabastan makes short work of his sandwich.

"Yes, he can, but I don't want you two squabbling in this house."

She had to remind herself that it wasn't her house, despite her spending a lot of time here.

Grabbing the rest of the food, some oil and a deep skillet, she whips up something between a stir-fry and a stew for the three of them to enjoy.

It's actually pretty good, all things considered.

"Tell me more about this bar of yours that sometimes appears in this house," she asks the pair of them. "I'd ask if it were dangerous, but neither of you seem to be harmed by it. Present situation notwithstanding."

[herr_bookman]

"This isn't squabbling," Autor says primly, popping his nose in the air.

"The bar doesn't make any sense," he says, ignoring his sandwich in favor of picking up his book. Why yes, he is just rude enough to open it at the table, but whether he reads it remains to be seen. "And yes, it's dangerous, of course it is. Magic always is, and that place is steeped in it--though there is an enforced neutrality among the patrons, strangely enough."

Then he raises a brow at the wizard again. Really, he should have some input.

[iambetadraconis]

"No, but I wouldn't be surprised you two do this regularly, and that squabbling is the end result."

The stew/stir fry is ladled into three bowls, then handed out.

"I can imagine that magic is dangerous. I do use it myself."

Spoons are handed out after the bowls.

"But if it's going to hurt Rabastan, I don't think I'd be pleased to hear that it's caused him harm again if he keeps going back."

"It's not that dangerous," Rabastan protests. "Mostly it's just weird."

Once you take out things like Allpocalypses and creatures such as Slenderman.

"Milliways is a nice place. Before I came here, it was home to me."

"So. It has a name." She stirs her bowl. "Well. Why should it not have a name? Taverns always have names. Magical ones shouldn't be that different."

[herr_bookman]

Autor can't help but smirk a bit at her correct assessment. For a brief moment, he'd thought to be chastised, but he's in too cheery a mood for that. Strange, really.

And he doesn't need a bowl of the stew-stir fry hybrid; he has barely touched his sandwich. A few of the vegetables were tasty, though.

He's tempted to say something along the lines of, "Goodness, Elea, have faith, the man can take care of himself," but if Rabastan can't or won't defend himself to her, well... That sort of renders the point moot. The wizard seems to be doing a fine job of it, really.

So he retreats to his book again. "Azalea: Take care of yourself for me." Hahaha!

[iambetadraconis]

Eat it Autor, or the food will go to waste, and we know you hate wasted food.

"Elea, I promise you. It's not dangerous," he continues in protest.

"Love, I believe you. Milliways has clearly not harmed you. But you are still acting odd here."

[herr_bookman]

This logic is why he avoids ordering food in the first place. He picks up his sandwich.

"I agree," Autor says, after swallowing his first bite. "This is strange even for you. Do you have an alternative to casting a repulsion spell on the rockery room while we figure this out?"

[iambetadraconis]

You'll have to order food sometime. You can't live on air and water you know.

"I should be able to come up with something," Elea offers, before Rabastan can say anything.

It earns her a mutinous look from Rabastan.

He gets a look of "for your own good" back.

"We do have magics for just about everything here. Even repelling charms."

"Whose side are you on, anyways?"

"Rabastan, you're not well. Don't give me that look—this is for your own good while we wait for whatever's wrong with you to wear off. Assuming this is magically-based."

[herr_bookman]

Correction: air and tea.

"Oh, come now, Rabastan," Autor says. "Be reasonable. Your well-being here is paramount. She's just trying to ensure your safety, and see? She even has the magic required to do it."

That smug smile of his has nothing to do with what he says. Really.

[iambetadraconis]

Don't get technical.

"Since when did you care about the well-being of others? You hate it when people show you concern. Why shouldn't the reverse be true?"

"Now's not the time for accusations, Rabastan.

"However, there's one small problem: keeping him from just creating another rockery while we wait for this to pass. I can't bar him from his own home, even for his own sake."

[herr_bookman]

Rabastan might get the impression that Autor is managing to pull off the feat of laughing at him while daintily nibbling on his sandwich. Rabastan would be correct.

"Now, now," the kid says smoothly, "don't make us resort to Dormitus to tame your belligerence."

Autor tilts his head at Elea's point. "True. Is there any way we can measure how long this will last? Do you still have the original rocks in your rockery, Rabastan? If we return them to the bar, I wonder if the lingering effects on you will dissipate."

[iambetadraconis]

The mutinous look from before only increases.

"Dunno. Maybe. Can't tell you which ones are the originals. There's a lot in the room," he grumbles.

"Sadly, I can believe this."

She stirs the contents of her bowl idly.

"Then my task is two-fold: a general charm on the one room you have, to keep you out of it, and to think of a way to keep what you currently have from spreading, as it were."

[herr_bookman]

And would you look at that? He's shaking in his boots.

"It doesn't seem likely that whatever he has will spread from him," Autor says, and sets the remaining three-quarters of his sandwich down. "We probably would have come down with it already, given how little time he spent in the presence of the rocks before becoming enamored with them. We'll need to find and deal with the original rocks eventually."

Then he grins. "In the meantime, Rabastan, it looks like you're going to have to find something else to do."

[iambetadraconis]

"Oh, I think I can keep Mr Lestrange occupied," she says with a smirk. This earns her a blush from Rabastan. "But I'm not worried about either of us catching his madness.

"It's the rockery I want to keep contained to its current location while I keep him busy."

[herr_bookman]

It will earn her a blush from Autor, too. A massively, massively delayed blush. He peers at her expression, bemused.

"What? They're rocks," he says. "I don't think they'll be moving on their own, nor should the room? This shouldn't be any trouble unless Rabastan wanders. You said you had a way of keeping him--"

Oh, now that smirk makes sense. And, look, there's the promised flush, bright red and covering his skin from collarbone to roots.

"Well!" he squeaks, dropping his half-eaten sandwich as he shoots straight into a standing position. "I have a thing! To do. Um. Thank you for lunch."

[iambetadraconis]

Pure, undiluted hilarity. That's Elea's unspoken response to Autor's delayed reaction.

He gets a wink as a reward for, in her estimation, blushing so cutely.

Elea has just found a new person to tease with her brand of suggestive talk.

"Finding new rocks to build a new rockery, Autor," she says with more of that satisfied smile. "I prefer that he did not."

She turns to look at Rabastan, and notices his own change in hue.

"I want you to empty out your pockets."

"What?"

"Your pockets. Empty them. I want to be sure you're not bringing in rocks on the sly."

Delaying his compliance by a full minute, the contents of his pockets are placed on the table.

Rocks, coins, the last remnants of a ball of yarn—

—and the colourful cube.

"Well. This is an interesting-looking object," she says, inspecting the Rubik's Cube. "Found this at the bar?"

[herr_bookman]

Oh, now she has his feathers ruffled. Still blushing, he launches into his usual nit-picking. And yes, he is just rude enough to speak directly over her.

"That's not the containment of the original room, that's building a new one and--ah," he starts, only to be interrupted when the colorful puzzle box tumbles out of Rabastan's pockets.

"What is that?" he says, sinking into his chair to better examine its properties. "Actually, no, we shouldn't look at this... thing. It might be enchanted, like the rocks."

Obviously he has stopped staring at it by now. That furrowed brow and canted head has nothing to do with the cube. Obviously.

Just a peek won't hurt, right?

[iambetadraconis]

"Are you being difficult on purpose, Autor? Or uncharacteristically obtuse?" Elea frowns slightly. "You're intelligent enough to know what I meant.

"The original room will be warded, and Rabastan will not be sneaking in rocks to start up a new one."

Since when did Autor need the Simple Explanation? He should've gotten it the first time.

Maybe he ought to get some sleep. His ability to grasp a concept is slipping from lack of proper rest.

"If it's enchanted I'm not feeling anything," Elea says, marveling at the toy. "Unless I'm mistaken the source of the enchantment is not in the objects themselves.

"We were both in the rockery with Rabastan, where the original rocks would likely be, and neither of us were affected.

"Still doesn't explain where it all comes from," she says, setting down the cube amongst the other items removed from Rabastan's pockets.

"I should hope that's all you had on you, love."

[herr_bookman]

Ohh. Whatever good graces Elea was in with Autor, she is now out of them. Warding the room was his idea; of course he understood what she meant. >:I He was just being pedantic.

"Is it possible," he says, snatching up the puzzle as soon as she sets it down, "that the enchantment on the rocks has already worn off, and this is just a residual effect? Or that it was a one-time snare?"

Six sides, six colors, he thinks irritably, twisting the cube's margins. This shouldn't be too difficult to figure out.

[iambetadraconis]

If being in your good graces involves putting up with your bullshit Autor, then maybe it's good that she's fallen out of them.

Go find someone to be a pedant with; Elea's not interested in that. Or any of your other mind games.

In the meantime go learn some social skills.

"I'd say both are likely. Either way, neither of us are in danger. I sensed no magics coming from anything Rabastan was carrying on him.

"Certainly not that object you're fussing with there."

[herr_bookman]

Pfft, social skills are overrated.

"So is it safe to assume that whatever Rabastan has will wear off?" he murmurs, a little too focused on manipulating the colored squares into something resembling sense.

[iambetadraconis]

Seeing as how Autor is about as pleasant as a hemorrhoid on his better days, it's not surprising he'd believe that about social skills.

"Certainly. In the meantime my main concern is in keeping him out of further trouble."

Obviously it's her main concern, since twisting the cube this way and that is Autor's.

[herr_bookman]

Goodness, then why have him over to the house?

Autor's cheeks flare up a little as he glances at her. "Right, you stated that you, um, had a way to do that? Should I leave?"

He'll take the cube, obviously.